Your a narcissist

Its very evident your a type of narcissist and it drives me nuts,you have to know by now i see the put down that you play off as just a joke..its not its hurtful but surface level i try to keep it in.i know you've cheated in some fashion,u hate me for knowing like its all my fault .crazy how men can convince themselves they have good enough reasoning to cheat.it is what it is im just waiting for financial issues to become do able i cant wait to run so far from you it wasn't funny ,you have stolen my looks,my light,my everything and to you its just all my fault no this is exactly what you had planned for and now your in discard phase and realize im not that beautiful light anymore and it irks you,well u played a big hand in all of this ,have u seen the way your exs all glowed up after you,you will never realize your the problem because your mother will never allow you to ever feel one ounce of guilt ,your perfect in every dam sense.idk why life sent u to me and you latched so hard why ,why any of it.i see all the paths I could of taken differently and just ugh want to bawl in a corner but whats that going to ever help.im tired my soul is so tired of being purposely misunderstood its aching.i wish I understood why all of this i really do.just had to get this out I know you will never see this but it is what it is ,just hoping in my next life a man will find me and be my soulmate and not ruin me in ever way possible like they have to far.only in my dreams ..