I don’t really see a purpose of me living

Hi I’m 17 years old and for a few years I’ve been struggling with a lot of things. Since I can remember I always hated myself I can’t stand it, why do I have to be so awkward and stupid and antisocial and lazy. I want to stop hating myself but I have no idea what to even start with. That only one of my problems the other most major one is that I see no future for myself. Before high school I’ve always been the smartest student in class with the best grades without even trying but in high school I’m barely passing. I just can’t bring myself to sit down and learn I hate that part about me. I don’t get any joy from the things I used to love too everything seems exhausting. Sorry for going on such a rant, I mainly just needed to say these things out somewhere but I would also appreciate it if someone gave me some advice on how to try to stop hating myself. And it’s not like I don’t want to live, I just don’t see a goal or a purpose anymore.