Schools starting back up.

School starts in 14 days, and I’m already stressing. I’m switching schools (another private school) after getting kicked out of my second private school, and I have to start over—new people, new teachers, new everything. I don’t even get a second to breathe or do anything because my parents made me wake up at 5:15 for 8 weeks of my summer to go row. On top of all that, my parents are forcing me to do crew a week early before the school year with the new school. I despise crew. The sport got boring, I hate the practices, I hate the pressure, I hate pretending to care about it just so they’ll shut up and be proud of me. I literally begged them to let me quit, and it’s like they don’t hear me at all. Every time I try to talk about it with them, they say the only reason I’m going to this school is because I’m good at crew.

Oh, and I forgot to mention I still have a full book and a half to read and annotate and write essays for before school starts? Because, of course, I do. Why wouldn’t I? It’s not like I’ve been dealing with my dad just having surgery or anything. I’ve been in the hospital for the past 3 days. There’s no room for grace or breaks or reality, and even when there was, I was being woken up at 5:15 for 8 weeks and then forced to go mow people's lawns. They tell me that getting myself kicked out year after year is my fault, and I acknowledge that. I insist they stop spending twenty thousand dollars a year just for me to get average grades and not enjoy school. All I want to do now is just go smoke a fat bowl, crawl into a hole, and disappear for like… ever. I’m tired of not having the time to do anything that I truly enjoy. I don't see why the force me to do shit that I don't want to. And I know I reached out to the coach about rowing for there school and I attended all of the meetings and said I would row but I think I might not even show up for anything related to the sport. But deep down I know my parents are going to go ape shit ;(

Sorry I wrote this in a rush.