aio for wanting to cut off my friend who is pregnant?

this may sound incredibly wrong but just listen. my friend is pregnant, and by someone she’s known for less than a year. he’s a classic mental abuser, and i feel terrible, but they were already on the rocks, being very on and off before she found out she was pregnant. he’s a typical absent father-to-be. i mean terrible, and i feel for her 100% but that’s literally all she posts about, and talks about.

the thing is, i recently was ttc with my husband, and was successful, being very early along in my pregnancy as of now. when i told her i was ttc, her response was “you’re young! don’t rush!” but she’s less than two years older than me, my husband and i are getting a house, and this was a planned pregnancy where we were prepared for what was to come. i tried to brush it off, and just moved on with my life, but that felt really weird to me, coming from someone who’s also pregnant, has a way less stable situation than mine, and is also young.

then, i fall pregnant, and she’s the first person i told. she said she’d check up on me every day, but she hasn’t, and i wasn’t expecting that, seeing as her situation isn’t ideal during pregnancy. pregnancy is already difficult and being in a situation where you’re by yourself makes it even worse. i check up on her later, as one does, and all she does is complain about her baby daddy, and i listen, but i begin to realize i’m the only one that checks on her, and reaches out, but she never reaches out to me. like at all.

then, she asks me about my pregnancy, and starts giving me unsolicited advice. i told her how dark my test was, and she was like “oh ur prob 8 weeks,” to which i respond with, well i don’t know about that seeing as last time i was pregnant (i unfortunately couldn’t keep that pregnancy due to also having a horrible boyfriend at the time, which she knows about, and how it has affected me), the lines were dark at 5 weeks, and im more likely to having twins, and she goes “well when i found out at 8 weeks MY tests were dark.” now that bothered me, because as a woman we should know everyones bodies are different, i also hadn’t even gotten my IUD out 8 weeks prior, making that literally impossible. she is also not my doctor. she then starts telling me what i need to do, such as take prenatals, and what i’ll need to get during pregnancy. she even tried talking about baby products to get, like no girl i don’t want a $600 stroller i wont be able to use for more than a year.

now, i appreciate the help, but i didn’t ask for it, and reminder, i was actively ttc, so i consulted with my doctor about everything i needed done. i had started prenatals before falling pregnant, and i told her “i know, i’ve done my research and consulted my doctor before even getting off birth control” to which i got a very dry response. anytime i responded to her advice with i already know and have consulted with my doctor, it was like i offended her, but i shouldn’t base my pregnancy off hers. either way, her assumptions were wrong, i am six weeks, and carrying twins.

then, she asked me about baby shower ideas, and i told her about having a halloween shower because that is my favorite holiday. weeks later, she hadn’t spoken to me, or checked up on me, and that’s when i realized i was the one doing all of the work in our friendship, and had been doing that since before she got pregnant. i would text first 90% of the time, and since i am going through the trenches of early pregnancy, i wasn’t going to waste my time talking to people who dont reach out to me. she randomly texts me her baby shower date, which is around the same time i wanted to have my shower. she doesn’t check on me, ask me how im doing, just texts me the date and says invites coming out soon.

i respond, i can’t go, my husband has to work that day, at that point i will be living four hours away, i was planning for a shower at the same time which she knew about, that on top of a fresh move, and my husband being military, meaning he has to work that day, we won’t be able to attend. we also have one car, since mine was totaled, and im too scared to drive because i had to relearn how to walk after that, with that fear becoming even worse especially now that i am pregnant. no response.

following this, she would repost things like how she hates getting unsolicited advice, yet she gave me unsolicited advice, or how she’s alone and has no friends there for her on top of the father of her child, but i would constantly reach out even when it wasn’t reciprocated.

ever since then, i’ve been looking at our friendship through a different lens. i’ve realized she’s not someone i want to surround myself with now, especially since being pregnant. in the past i would side eye her, because she would get with different guys every few months, and would compare her relationships to my marriage, even getting with someone in the military and saying omg, we’re both going to be military wives. but ever since we both became pregnant, i’ve become tired of hearing about the father of her child, that’s all she posts about, i can ask her how she’s doing, and she’ll send me screenshots of his current bullshit, but will never even ask me how i am doing. i feel like an a-hole for feeling this way because i know her situation isn’t easy, but it’s something i can’t hear about or surround myself with anymore, i feel like a personal therapist whenever i do reach out.

i understand she’s hurting, but i feel like it’s become everyone’s problem who is around her, and it’s tiring, especially when she has a new life to worry about, and no matter how much i tell her, she constantly posts publicly and talks about it. it’s a sensitive situation, but from my perspective, that’s not everyone’s business and no matter what happens, she needs to focus on being the main support system for her child, and all of this stress she’s going through affects the baby. the main time she even mentions the baby is when she talks about her baby daddy.

i just want some advice before doing anything drastic, my husband has validated my feelings, but he hasn’t been her biggest fan for a while. but i need advice from people who aren’t pregnant or my husband, since my emotions are really high i take everything so much more differently than i did before, and i just need some help here.

but psa her bd isn’t shit!! it just has become a very public problem that has suffocated me throughout her pregnancy, and i dread talking to her or even looking at something she posts because of it, especially with everything she has told me pertaining to my pregnancy.