First Girlfriend (27F) who seems to not be into physical and emotional displays of love and intimacy.
As the title suggest. I'm a 27 years old male who never had a Girlfriend until now (1 Month now). My GF also didn't have a BF until now (Well in high school but I think it doesn't matter since she said it was short). We meet through work and she engaged in many of our talks. She was the one who gave me her phone number to hang out and date. We hit it off, we have sort of similar interests although she is more of an outdoors person and I'm more indoors kind of person. She confessed to me two months later after I confessed I was romantically interested in her 1 month ago that time.
During this 1 month of being a BF and GF, I think she doesn't seem to be very comfortable with herself. Like physically. (I'm skinny and bony like she is but I accept it). I think she is uncomfortable with the relationship because its a new experience for her and that's understandable. I told her I wanted to kiss her on the mouth, this was in a public setting at a restaurant parking with barely anyone around at 7 PM, but she said she has acne on her face and she wasn't comfortable with that. I told her its fine and that I would kiss her regardless of her acne condition, but left it at that. Now I'm not sure how fast or slow moments of intimacy should happen but we've known each other for 3 months now (2 Months talking, 1 month BF/GF). I just respect her boundaries. Almost a month later to now, we then went on a hours long trip to a certain state and stayed in a hotel room with separate beds. It was normal back and forth talks, nothing intimate happened. I then asked to hold her hand at that night we we're out and about returning from a concert. She said something about being a quick and dirty type to get things done and she sort of doesn't like being intimate in public (I'm not sure what she said, I was confused at the word lingo she was using, she seemed like she was skirting around the true issue).
Now, she is a college grad and all that jazz but trying to find her true purpose in life just like me. I'm not a college grad. Dunno if this info is related to the issue. During the first month of dating I've asked her about her family and she said her family doesn't do the normal greeting each other, hugging and saying I love you to each other. But they do love each other, they just show it differently, mainly though action, gifting, and other things. My family on the other hand, we greet each other, have hugs, kiss each others cheeks, and ask God to forgive us (I'm not religious btw). I'm guessing she is the "Shows intimacy with service" type of girl. I dunno which action she does as a "To show she cares and loves me" though. She does lead the relationship, she planned every outing and has every suggestions. She has a hard time of being expressive. She is sort of mono toned.
I think I'm more of a show and touch intimacy kind of person. I say I love her throughout the relationship but she rarely says it back. We do hug kind of consistently when we head our separate ways. My ideal relationship is the women of my life holding my hands, saying she loves me, kissing me, and totally being comfortable to be herself around me. I want to say I love her, embrace her, kiss her and all that jazz. I'm in it with marriage in mind. However at our current trajectory, it feels like its getting harder for me to display intimacy and love to her. She is a very to the matter of fact, saying it how it is and getting it done type of person. She did comment on how she is glad I'm not in the relationship for her body. I mean yeah I believe emotional connection is important but physical connection is also important as well.
I'm planning on continuing and auditing the relationship for two more month. A couple weeks from now I'll talk to her again about what I expect out of the relationship and what she expects as well. I want to her y'all's advice into this matter. Thank you for reading.
Posted Aug 7, 2025, 12:54 AM UTC