[Verse 1]
I'm often seen as a man with lots of answers
Quick to check my Bible app and text my Pastor
I sometimes pray before meals but almost never with my family
I don't feel the fire inside and the passion's all empty.

They say I'm a mentor, a brother, a friend
But I barely feel alive when I'm tryin' to pretend
I talk about grace, but I ain't feelin' free
I’m tired of the climb, tired of tryna be holy

[Chorus]
I don't want to be better, not right now.
I'm tired of the battle, I'm worn down.
I know the Good Word says "don’t lose heart,"
But this pumped-out heart ain't ready to restart.
I’ve lost my will, I’ve lost my spark
And I'm doing my best not to fall apart.
I know it ain't right, but I’m not in the mood
To chase after good when I'm not given the fruit.
Yeah, I don’t want to be better… not right now

[Verse 2]
"If it’s easy, then it ain’t worth it" — that's what I say
But truth is, I’ve been lookin' for the easy way
The fruit ain't growin’, just dry cracked ground
And I’m done tryin’ to fake a joy I haven’t found

I ain’t rebellin’, I ain’t runnin’ fast
I’m just sittin' in the middle with my foot on the gas
And the brakes at the same time, stuck in this lane
Singin' hallelujah like everything's okay.  

[Chorus]
I don't want to be better, not right now.
I'm tired of the battle, I'm worn down.
I know the Good Word says "don’t lose heart,"
But this pumped-out heart ain't ready to restart.
I’ve lost my will, I’ve lost my spark
And I'm doing my best not to fall apart.
I know it ain't right, but I’m not in the mood
To chase after good when I'm not given the fruit.
Yeah, I don’t want to be better… not right now

[Bridge]
I ain't givin’ up forever, but I ain’t standin’ tall
Just tryin' to float through life, avoidin' every call
Between backslidin’ and breakin’ through
I’m stuck in the middle like "it's up to you."

[Breakdown – soft instrumentation]
I know that seed’s still buried deep
Galatians says one day I’ll reap
But Lord, if You’re still watchin’ me
Can You carry me until I find my way?

[Final Chorus – softer first half, builds second half]
I don't want to be better, not right now.
Tired of the pressure and tired of let-downs
I know the truth still holds me close
Even when I feel the farthest from hope
I’ve lost my will, I’ve lost my spark
But I know You’re still holdin’ my heart
So don’t give up, even when I do
‘Cause soon enough I’ll come back to You
But I don’t want to be better… not right now

[Outro – reflective]
Just tryin’ to float through life unbothered somehow…
Don’t want to be better, not right now.

🙏 Has anyone else ever felt this way? 🙏