my family is making me crazy.

this is my first time making a post. i downloaded reddit to see if i could find support so if anyone has any advice or helpful tips that would be amazing.

i moved out of my family home when i was 18 for college. never wanted to go back because of the clutter and mess and lack of normalcy and routine in my home. i have 5 siblings and my mother and we all lived here. my mother has always had an alternative lifestyle. (didn’t really care if our hair wasn’t done or if our clothes were dirty, didn’t enforce hygiene like brushing our teeth or taking baths) and she’s never been someone who cleaned or cooked for us growing up. i wish i could say this inspired me to cook and clean for myself, but it didn’t. breakfast lunch and dinner for us has always been everyone for themselves and it gave me horrible eating habits. i basically adopted all her bad habits and now as an adult ive been trying to unlearn them. i’m 24 now and ive been living back at home for almost a year now, i just graduated college and was supposed to be moving in with someone but it didn’t work out so i had to come home. when i came back home i realized the house is worse than it ever was. not only does no one clean but my mom has started “projects” on the house that she doesn’t finish. she yanked the bathroom sink out, pulled up the hardwoods in her bedroom, took out paneling on the walls. and then just left it half taken apart, stuff has been left incomplete for months and months. so not only am i tripping over junk and clutter everywhere but also house parts and tools, it really drains me to be in an environment so chaotic. when i first moved back home i tried to help out around the house and keep everything clean but my younger siblings (9, 11) that still live at home (who have to cook all their own meals bc my mom won’t and i work all day) come behind me and destroy every space i clean. my mom is also incredibly messy and doesn’t even bother to pick up after herself. so all their cleaning fell to me and i started feeling like the expected me to clean up their mess for them so i stopped. and now no one cleans and we’re all living in filth. i stay in my room and never really interact with my family and it makes me feel like the evil sister who’s always angry in her room. i buy my own groceries but everytime i come home from work to cook i look and see that all the groceries i’ve bought are gone. i bought supplies for the kitchen like measuring cups and pans but they always go missing or disappear whenever i want to cook for myself. basically anything i set down outside of my room wont be there when i come back to it and there’s so much junk in our house its impossible to look for anything. i know that these might sound like small problems that shouldn’t be that big of a deal but it’s hard to put into words how frustrating it is. the worst part of all of it is that my mother doesn’t care at all. we’ve had several family meetings about it and nothing changes. she doesn’t see a problem with things because she doesn’t mind living like these and neither do my siblings. she tells me if i don’t want my stuff to get taken or eaten to hide it. i’ve tried putting locks on my doors but my siblings still get into my room and sneak into my things. she doesn’t enforce any rules or respect so my younger siblings don’t respect anything. they have no pride in their things so they have no respect for anyone else’s things. i feel like everytime i come home expecting something of mine to be there waiting for me it’s not. and no one cares but me. i’m really really reaching the end of my rope and im not sure what to do. i cry all the time out of frustration and i don’t know how to work through this anger. i love my mom and she’s been a wonderful mom to me. she’s just never done the typical stuff a parent is supposed to do. i’m severely depressed and i have no one to talk to about this because im so embarrassed that this is my life. i know that in a house with kids things won’t always be clean and neat. but my siblings are old enough to know better and the way they destroy things and leave food out is on par with toddlers. they can literally flip a clean room completely over and nobody cares or stops them. i try but at the end of the day im not their parent so they don’t listen to me. i wish i had a family home i could feel safe in but i dread coming home everyday and i have an hour commute home. i’m so drained and exhausted and everytime i try to move forward my family pushes me 10 steps back. i know the obvious answer is to move out but it’s so expensive and im trying to move out by the end of the year. i just need some advice to help me make it until then.