I feel like I'm playing the game wrong

Okay, as weird as it sounds, I feel like I'm playing Love and Deepspace the wrong way compared to everyone else, and I feel not only left behind, but unworthy of calling myself a fan/player.

I know the game is "play at your own pace" and "play how you want" but more recently and especially this year, it's felt like there's unwritten rules about how you play. That you have to do something because everyone else is or that you must have all the five star cards of your main LI or at least all the myths.

I've had the game installed since Sylus was announced, but I only got super invested around the Catch 22 event. My affinity levels aren't that high. The highest is Rafayel and he's only at 73. The others are in the 60s and Sylus is at 57.

I leave battles on auto a lot of the time, I've skimmed through the Unicorns Operation, my Orbit is only at 40 or under with the LIs. I've only ascended one memory past 60 and I haven't even completed the main story. I haven't spent thousands on the game, I don't have all the myths, and I pull for multiple LIs.

It wasn't until a few months ago, I started spending money on the game - which I actually never planned on doing. It's mainly been the Aurum pass, but since Rafayel's newest myth, it's been on wishes but that's mostly because I try to get my wishes down for the next event. I don't have the luxury of buying what I want, the prices are high for me. The Aurum Pass alone is $10, which I know doesn't sound like a lot to people, but a $30usd pack is $50 for me.

But I felt left out that I wasn't spending so much money. Especially since one of my friends has the luxury of buying what they want and I feel a lot of envy towards them. Another reason I started spending so much money, was I saw a lot of "if you're free to play, you can only pull for one LI." Which I understand, it's easier, because farming loads of diamonds isn’t that easy to do.

I was F2P up until April. I didn't and still don't really care who I pull. Yes, my main three are Xavier, Caleb and Rafayel, but I wouldn't mind if I pulled Sylus or Zayne and I'd still be really happy about it. Yet, having multiple mains is what makes me feel like I'm playing wrong. Because I've seen so much of "if you have multiple LIs, it means your disloyal IRL."

I hate to pinpoint the blame on anyone, but I frequently browsed the Twitter side of the community and they are the reason I started feeling like I was doing everything wrong. Hell, I've even seen people on Twitter harassing new players. Which is why I've come here to discuss this because this is probably the nicest side of the community I've seen.

But I really hate that this game has made me more sad lately. I feel like I miss out on all the good things because I started playing later than a lot of people or because a lot of the really cool things are behind an expensive paywall. I got really lucky that I got all three of my main LIs during the wedding event but that only happened because I spent money after feeling so left out that my friend pulled their main LIs.

But I do just have to ask, has anyone else ever felt this way about playing or am I just overthinking all of this?

Also apologies if none of this made sense, this is my first Reddit post and I fear I ramble a lot when I don't need to 😭