My neighbor is an alien. What do I do?

General

A few months ago I had a new neighbor move into the unit across from me. At first he seemed normal, but the last few weeks I’ve been noticing different strange occurrences.

When he first moved in his hair was blonde, but suddenly 3 weeks ago he suddenly had green hair. GREEN HAIR! It’s like he forgot what hair colors humans have for his disguise.

The food scraps in his garbage are all strange. Not a single bone or piece of meat. It’s just leaves and vines. Unnatural.

His eyes are brown, but recently when the light hit his eyes they appeared to be green for a split second. Maybe harsh light reveals his true form?

On weekends he often has visitors over night. When they arrive they are in a state of inebriation, and in the morning they seem to have a completely different personality. Loud noises come from his apartment every time this happens. I think he’s replacing them.

He’s obsessed with the superfreaks, always wearing clothes with their symbols on them. I think he’s gathering information for his masters.

Oh, and this guy is almost completely nocturnal. He usually leaves his apartment at around 8pm and isn’t back until 6am. He claims to work nights, but I know it’s because that is when he can sneak into people’s homes to probe them.

I know this freak is an alien, but what do I do? How to I get it to leave? I’ve tried exposing him to others in the building, but they all think I’m crazy. I think old lady Nancy upstairs has been replaced already. If I don’t act soon, we are all in danger.

I’ve already bought I gun to keep myself safe. I will not let them replace me. Between at least 3 alien invasions and the reports of the shape-shifting ones I’ve lived through to much alien nonsense to tolerate this.

Posted Aug 7, 2025, 12:59 AM UTC

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