The isolation has lasted my whole life

There have been so many things that I have wanted to share with my parents. Good things, bad things, anything. I am so envious of people who have families who love them that they can share things with. There have been so many times that I have needed support or comfort and there is no one there. I feel that I can’t have real and meaningful relationships with other people. I can’t even trust someone who could give me the mental help that I need and deserve in order to better myself. I have a life that most people would consider good, but I still feel like I’m never fully able to be present in it because of my past trauma. I can’t enjoy any accomplishment because there’s always a voice that tells me I should have done better. I deserved better. We all did. This is just a rant. I am happy for the people who have received mental help and yes I am aware that it’s out there. I just wanted to vent a little.