It's been 2 weeks, and I don't know when it will hit me

She was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer at the age of 30.

We fought it for 10 months before it took her.

We were together for 15 years, we planned our lives together, and for a while we got to live those dreams.

We had 2 beautiful boys (now 3 and 1) and were happy and still very much in love.

We used to joke that we didn't know when the other shoe would drop; didn't think it would actually happen.

Now I'm raising our kids without her, planning the future without her. The person I thought would be by my side forever is now just gone.

And it hasn't really hit me. Life keeps going, especially with two little ones, and with the cancer battle, my mind keeps pretending she's just in another room resting.

I dont really know what to do with that.

Everyone's been supportive and helpful, I don't feel abandoned - I feel like it isn't real.

I guess this is probably normal, I just don't want to suddenly become unavailable emotionally to my kids because I missed some step along the way, you know?