Personal struggles with extended breastfeeding

I breastfed my first until 3 years 10 months. Breastfed my second until 2.5 years. Tandem fed 1&2 for just over two years. And I am 2.5 years and counting with my third. I’ve also struggled with depression my whole life. I was on medication for it for most of my youth. And it’s a struggle that has never gone away for long. But lately it’s been bad. And I have failed to lose any weight at all since my first pregnancy- it’s been only gains. I’m tired of being heavy. I know I probably won’t magically lose weight when weaned, but part of me really thinks that I CAN’T lose weight while breastfeeding and I find myself hoping that I’ll make some progress on the other side of this journey. And I’m tired of being depressed. I’ve been trying all sorts of things. I’ve tried anti-depressants, tinctures, homeopathy. Is it possible that pregnancy and perpetual breastfeeding have drained my body’s nutrient stores and messed with my hormones? I see nothing about benefits for mom and little one for extended bfing, but I’m starting to wonder.

But also, it’s probably just me. Depression symptoms aren’t a new development. My mom could never put off weight without a strict diet. It’s possible I just have shitty genes.

I don’t particularly want to wean. If I was promised that I could be happy and lose weight tomorrow if i wean…. Well, if I were promised. I would probably do it. I would hate to do it, but I would do it because a mom who isn’t depressed would be a really good mom for my kids rn. But if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t think weaning will make much of a difference on either front.