I will most likely be alone forever

I was born with the condition of Cerebral Palsy. I'm twenty-two years old. I'm still a virgin, I've never been on a date. It is highly unlikely that I ever will. I'm studying for the university entrance exams that I already took and passed twice, I can't physically attend the school I get into, and every time I think the next year will somehow be different, so I just try again. I only have two friends, but I guess I have to let one of them go, because he's a thirty year old guy with a real life, who is getting married soon, and I feel like I am dragging him into the mud with me whenever I contact him. To be frank, the same is true with my other friend, but the circumstances of our acquaintanceship allow it to be durable against my annoying attempts to talk to. All my other interactions are either with individuals I get to know briefly for things related to work, or just friendly online profiles whom I can't have real connections with.

My youth is slipping away. I could have done so many things if it wasn't for this stupid body. So many good deeds that could have been done. So many happy memories that could have been had. All is impossible. No freedom, no love, no friendship, just endless loneliness. I'm gonna die, all alone and sick...

Well, I guess I'll go back to studying now. I literally have nothing better or more meaningful to do at the moment. Thank you for reading my vent post, goodbye. Love your bodies. Take care.