I’m a cardiophobe. I can help.

Hey all — I hope it’s okay that I post this. I’m one of you.

I’ve lived with cardiophobia for over 30 years. Like many of you, I’ve gone through the terrifying spiral of interpreting every little chest sensation as imminent danger: tightness, hyper-awareness of my heartbeat, ER visits, stress tests, multiple doctors assuring me over and over that there's nothing wrong, which feels good for a while until the cycle starts back up again. 

It’s an exhausting loop that has a way of getting its hooks in you. It's also something you can manage and learn to live with, even laugh at. Even if you don't "cure" it, you can get a grip on the wheel and build up the trust to get yourself through. I know because I do it all the time. 

I've had episodes at all sorts of inopportune moments: at parenting functions, in work meetings and in the middle of interviewing people. I had it happen one time where I was at an interview subject's home and had to finish asking questions while lying down on his couch after he gave me some beta blockers form his medicine cabinet! 

But I’ve also made real progress — not by trying to get away from it, but by learning how to work with my nervous system, reconnect with my body/nervous system/emotions, and understand what these signals actually mean. And I can help you do the same. 

If you’re interested in connecting for a session (donation-based or pay-what-you-can), shoot me a DM or reply here. My goal is to be of help to others through something I know firsthand and, yes, I'm also inviting being compensated for the guidance if you find it worthwhile. (I also won't turn anyone away who badly NEEDS to talk. Believe me, I've been there.) 

I can walk you through the time-tested strategies I've developed that I keep in my back pocket. I can also help you lay the groundwork to prevent episodes before they happen. 

I’m not a doctor or therapist — but I'm also someone who's not just gonna tell you that this is all in your head. Because, even though it is in a sense, I know that it's more profound and abstract than that, and this is, after all, a REAL thing that we face. 

So I'm offering to talk with y'all one-on-one — video, audio, or chat. I won’t diagnose or prescribe. I’ll just be a kind of co-pilot through a really rough storm — one who knows the terrain — and who can maybe help you understand your mind-body feedback loop a little better.

I won't judge — I mean, I carry a pulse oximeter in my backpack with me "just in case" 

For perspective, I wrote this short essay on one of my first major panic episodes — the precursor to my recurring fear that my heart's going to stop:

 I’m sitting in a Dunkin Donuts and I know I'm going to die tonight

You are not alone. You are not broken. And it does get easier.

With respect,
Saby