Enjoy these fries while I ramble for a sec... 
Ok, how did they taste? Good? You're lying unless if you're a CLANKER, you can't taste computer pixels. But that's besides the point... Ok, so listen to me on this one. If chickens/ostriches can't fly, and if looking a mirror displays the opposite, shouldn't I be seeing a flying turkey leg when I look in the mirror? But wait, it gets DEEPER. What if this mirror by chance, is actually the ocean? Now holdup for a second you may be asking: the ocean? What's that? Well, after an extensive ask Jeeves session, I have figured it out. The ocean is a non sprite fluid usually found on earth. It also has the funny dust you put in soups or smth. Anyways, if the ocean is so big, why read can't you? But anyways, back on track. There is a trolley approaching a track. One side has a blade of grass I found in a bush somewhere or smth, and the other one has a bottle of mountain dew. The question, is which rail should I build in the past timeline to cause these events to happen in the present? 
*I swear this is going somewhere just hear me out*
Now if metal is made of metal and metal is a solid then that means that metal likely exists in 3 dimensions(I have yet to leave the first dimension, gotta save up for the second dimension dlc). Ok now the trolley. Now this trolley is actually powered by coal, which burns. But, grass also burns. Therefore, using the blade of grass to fuel the engine is the correct option. 
And THAT your honor, is why I ran over the entire population of a small town in my Ford caravan. 

(This is a cry for help)

I dunno kinda wanna be schizo somewhere