Boyfriend(38m) won’t loose weight am I terrible for feeling the way I do? (33F)

When I first met my boyfriend he was chubby. I found it cute. I loved his size. I found him so sexy and attractive. He played in sports and was active and also partied and played in bands I loved his lifestyle.

We’ve recently moved back in with his mom (saving for a house)who pressures him to overeat. Which I find disturbing. At some point my boyfriend completely gave up and is now obese. He has a big stomach that sticks all the way out. His face is wide his arms are big. I’ve tried for a year and a half to kindly ask him to make small changes. Like not drink a few days out of the week at band practice. Track his meals etc etc . He’ll seem to have good habits for a couple weeks and start to look less puffy again and then goes straight back into old habits

The attraction goes deeper than physical. It’s what this weight gain represents. That he doesn’t care to look good for me. That he doesn’t care to look good for himself. Whenever I bring it up he gets down on himself but at this point after a year and a half I don’t know what I should do.

I’ve tried the nice route. Today I think I snapped a little and told him everything I’ve said previously

I just wish he cared more about his health. Also considering his whole family has weight related health issues.

I’m getting scared that I am truly getting more resentful as time goes on and I may need to leave and find someone who is more health conscious.