My wife is selfish

My (cisF) wife (mtf) is selfish. We've been together 18 years. I have a lot going on that isn't about her transitioning (we have a non-verbal 2 year old with autism. 2 other kids with minor problems, one with speech and reading problem, another with ADHD thing happening.)

I have been supportive since she has come out and I've been so open about everything I felt, good and/or bad). I've been so supportive. I've never had a bad reaction to anything she has said to me about who she really is.

Yesterday I was sad. I told her I was sad because I felt like I wanted my life to go a certain way and I feel like I've lost all control and lost all my choices. It was mostly about having our 3rd (and last... Hysterectomy) child being such a high needs child and my day is centered around making doctor appointments, scheduling occupational therapy, speech therapy, physical therapy and soon behavioral therapy.

I felt sad and her only thought was "fine. Ill stop transitionong to make your life easier."

I'm like.... "What. The. Fuck." Obviously I know shes scared and nervous, and I get it. There is no way I would let her use me as a reason to stop. She will be talking about that in therapy... I'll make sure of it.

The point is... She doesn't care about how I'm feeling. She always makes it about her in some way. I support her emotions, but why can't I acknowledge mine and be supported by her.

Trans partners, did you feel heard and your emotions supported?

Should I ignore how I feel or keep it hidden until my wife feels 100% happy with her transition? Im her only support and I don't want her to feel like I'm attacking her. (I've told her this)