TIFU by adopting a orange menace

So this is about my cat, Cheeto a 50% fur, 50% chaos, 0% brain cell kind of creature.

Today’s events began when Cheeto made the executive decision to dance to the beat of his own meowth. My roommate’s in the hallway when I hear her yell

Fuckinng Cheeto. Stop tripping me, you little bastard.” Followed by a loud thud and an even louder, “CHEETO!!!”

I crack my door and ask, “Uh… you good?” She shouts back, “Don’t come out here, I’m getting out of the shower CHEETO TRIPPED ME!”

Fast forward I’m peacefully asleep that night when my brain gets jolted awake because Cheeto decided to bite me directly in the nose.

Not satisfied with his day’s work, he then jumps into my dresser drawer. But instead of landing like a normal cat, he manages to take the entire dresser down with him in one majestic crash.

This animal’s final brain cell is working at half power and pure spite. I love him, but I’m starting to think he’s the reason we can’t have nice things.

TL;DR My cat tripped my naked roommate, bit me in the nose while I was sleeping, and pulled my dresser over. He’s orange. That’s all you need to know.