i just wanted to enjoy the moment, dude, come on

Okay so, basically... got horny, right? Nice -- so I decided to see some stuff! Everything was just fine, I was on the mood... then, there was a certain moment that I thought "huh, guess I've found a new kink of mine! Wish I could experiment it with someone..."

I swear, that damned thought was somehow a trigger for a spiraling episode, because I couldn't stop daydreaming about having someone that genuinely liked me and found me attractive enough to engage that way and such. Fuck, I don't even have social skills for that shit! And then all my horniness turned into longing and, god damn it, I'm so sad right now-- my self-esteem was going up but now it's ABYSMAL because of that. I never compared myself to the people/characters from that context, but I'm doing that shit at this exact moment???? Really?

So... here's a gold advice for you people: never think about how lonely you are while horny, please. It will turn even your spirits off. Have a nice day. Now I'll... try to cope. Somehow. I'll be fine, I just need a moment.