God In The Gaps

Beware. For as does God to curiosity, does the truth reward in mutual assured agony.

My head hurts. The hair makes the meat tough but it's all I have out here. It grows back. 

It’s eternity out here. Time longer than you can think. Longer than you could think. Hell is here. Hell burns like a star in an ocean of gasoline but without any light. There are millions- trillions of infinite- worlds spinning out here. He swims between them. In the gaps.

To suppose I tell you how I got here? Would you try to follow? You would. You’re all here. I’ve eaten you. Some of you. You grow back.

I think I have to tell you.

Corners. Lovecraft had the right idea. Things slipping through corners. Except he was a nut- and a racist.

Take a razor carve open your wrists. Dig inside and find that big vein. Careful to not cut the veins. No blood should spill yet. Pull the big vein out as far as you can and tie it to the one from your other wrist. Once chained by your life, find the darkest corner of your house. Once it turns black- black black, you’ll be able to tell the difference. There is a black, absolute black, that eats everything- it will eat you. As you walk down its throat: bite through your big veins. They’ll grow back. 

Make sure the razor is sharp- it’s not necessary, but I brought a dull one and it has made carving you up difficult. Let the walls of the throat drink from your fountain veins as you carve out your genitals. You must become a Tabula Rasa. Once your blood is gone and your genitals are unrecognizable, carve your face. A sharp blade is critical here. It’ll hurt, but it’ll be quicker. I had to resort to my hands. It’ll grow back.

Finally, Pray. Pray to whatever idea of God you believe in the least. In all likelihood, you don’t believe in it because you couldn’t imagine such a thing to be real. You’re wrong, and every Prayer you’ve fed to false Gods has made this one stronger. Pray to it. Pray and worship. With any luck it will notice you and drag you into the gaps. You will land where we all have landed. All grown back.

Here in the Gap you can watch God swim in its endless ocean of empty between the infinities, watch Hell try to drown God in its fire. Create what you wish here. Destroy what you wish. You are God now. You're your own God. All except what is fake: The razor, yourself, and others. They are fake and thus outside your realm. But all else is real and yours to indulge. For this power, all existence asks in return is that you pray to the God in the Gaps. It lives because things like us don’t believe in it. It’s strong because as children what you didn’t see, you didn’t think to exist. It’s strong because you think dead people go somewhere. It’s strong because you think dead people go nowhere. It’s strong because you think things exist that are yes or no. It’s strong because you think things don’t always grow back.

Perform this ritual. It is your duty as a fake thing to go to the real and pray. It is your duty to hurt the God in the Gaps.