Feeling the depressive looking cloud post mania

I’m 29m and just got off the back of an 8 month manic episode 2 months ago. This episode was quite destructive, the worst of it being losing some close friends due to my behavior. My first episode in 2023 was horrific. It lasted 6 months and I did everything from insulting those at the school and ruining my reputation and I had a suicide attempt that almost cost me my life.

I’ve been depressed since coming down from this most recent manic episode. I just feel so behind in life. I make barely above minimum wage at a job I just started having not worked for two years, no long term career in order, a dwindling friend pool of 3, only one of which I would consider close. I just have so much more anxiety day to day but also minute to minute. I’m painfully single as well, never dated anyone in my life, and feel like it’s far beyond my grasp in my current state. I also struggle with erectile dysfunction

Life just seems so bleak and hopeless. I have been passively suicidal too. I just can’t believe that this has been the course of my life for the past 2.5 years. I wake up in the morning laying in bed and just feeling utter dread. I live with my parents still and have no clue when I’m going to have the wherewithal to move out. Will probably take many years before I can make an income that will allow me to. Also, I’ve regressed into a more childlike state and depend a lot more on them for many things.

If anyone else is going through or has gone through something similar, please let me know your thoughts. Have been feeling so alone in this struggle.