Relapse and this cycle s*cks! Big time

I made decision to stop at 40k losses but now I’m on almost 60k. All of the systems I made only went to drain. 8 hrs ago I won 17k in an online casino (slots) I don’t know what happened but I tried to increase the winning til I saw its 8k left. Went to sleep and when I woke up I blew the 8k again. This cycle is so tiring. That 17k can cover some of my debts but I didn’t stop hoping for more win but lost it all again. Last week I won 6k and guess what I gave it again all back. I was always thinking about my losses, and that I can recover through wins but when it was given to me it’s like I was in trance that it just means nothing and blew it off. I’m so overwhelmed right now with shame, guilt and sadness. I know about dopamine and stuffs but why is it I never learned any from my mistakes? Why I keep coming back and thinking hopes that always ruin everything. This is my Day 1. Need your prayers and blessings on this undertaking.