Im so angry

I’m raging rn because I got screwed over by my support system again for the millionth time this year. Me my roommates and my fiancé are all being vilified by people who were supposed to be our friends but dropped us the second they had a chance to. I’m so sick of this happening I can’t trust anyone and I feel like I’m drowning. I don’t work. I don’t trust anyone. My fiance and roommates are usually gone during the day so I’m just sat alone with my anger and thoughts. Idk what to do because I also keep trying to ask for help and keep getting hit with no one can help me. My SI and SH tendencies are extremely loud right now and I have zero distractions. I feel like I’m gonna puke I can’t keep doing this. Every time I try to breathe and calm down I get so angry again and fly off the handle. How do you deal with this rage because I’m at my wits end with people betraying and triggering me thinking it’s a fun game. No one takes me seriously because of my diagnosis’s and it’s so frustrating. It’s like no matter what work I do on myself it doesn’t matter because I’m just treated like an idiot by people that say they have my back when all they do is talk shit about me when I’m not there.