why shouldn't i do it.

i hate it here so much. i just want to be done. im not even depressed anymore, just so tired. im so fucking tired of my existence. all i want is to be done with it. my entire existence is screwing me over at ever motherfucking turn. im trans. im neurodivergent. i have chronic pain. im so fucking tired of existing. i don't feel valued ever. my mom makes me feel so fucking worthless. i feel so fucking taken for granted by everyone in my life. im in an endless cycle of selfharm, suicidal ideation, anorexia, and homicidal ideation. i have narcissistic personality disorder. i was born into poverty. like every single motherfucking thing about me is so disliked or hated or wrong or im broken or messed up or a monster or sinful or whatever the fuck and im so tired of everything. i will never be loved romantically, anyone I've ever dated has left. nobody fucking understands how i feel. i genuinely don't see any reason for me to live. i'll never be happy in my body or with my brain or with my life. i just want to be loved so bad. i want to be held so bad. nobody will. there's nothing left for me. im so fucking worthless. i just want to die i have a plan and i just want it to be over with. I just want to rest. i just want peace.