10. My friends' regrets.

I’ve cried harder and longer than I ever have, even more than when I lost my mom. My exe's presence still brought me comfort that time. Now, no one is left to make it feel better. I lost the person I tried to love with all I had. And I made mistakes. I admit that.

I posted on Reddit, anonymously, about everything I’ve been feeling—raw, real, no filter. It helped me speak freely. But then I saw a comment saying, “Ang kapal naman ng mukha mo” and “Get a job to afford therapy.” It stung—not because of the stranger, but because it reminded me of the people who actually knew me. My former friends. The ones who used to support both me and her. They didn’t reach out. Maybe they didn’t know how, or maybe they thought I wasn’t worth reaching out to anymore. Maybe they saw the worst in me—my jealousy, my silence, my detachment—and felt disappointed that they ever called me their friend.

I’m not angry at them. Just sad. Sad that they might think those same words. Sad that they had to witness that version of me. I don’t hope to be forgiven by them. But I do hope they forgive themselves for being my friends. I hope they remember the good I tried to give too. Because I did love, even if it looked broken.