Advice/Prayers Needed

This is long, I apologize. If this is against the rules please delete. This post is very heavy. I believe I’m being attacked and have been being attacked for quite awhile now. I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school. I was born prematurely, at one pound, 12 ounces, and had a stroke shortly after birth. I do believe God saved me, but I don’t know for what purpose. I have something called Cerebral Palsy and I use crutches to walk. Years ago, I strayed from my faith. I got into tarot cards. It was never that I stopped believing in God, rather I (thought) that I was using them as a spiritual tool to get closer to God. I wasn’t aware that tarot was considered something bad. About a year or two after that, I experienced my first episode of psychosis. It was absolutely terrifying and I still believe to this day that I was and am being oppressed by something evil. I ended up crashing my car into a tree last year. I was going entirely too fast around a curve and before I could brake or even realize what was happening, I crashed, head on. I survived and had very minimal injuries. My car was completely totaled. (I no longer have a car and this doesn’t help my feelings of helplessness.) This was the start of my journey with psychosis. I said and did horrible things. I believed horrible, odd things that weren’t true. That story is long. I was in the hospital the first time for a month. I had to be sedated once because I believed the nurses were trying to kill me. I had to be put in “The Quiet Room” many times. I was calling the nurses family members’ names and believed, for some reason, that although they had different faces/bodies, they WERE my family members. I was still delusional when I was released from the hospital and returned again I believe maybe three or four times. Psychosis basically took up the entire year of 2024. Because of all of this, I am now at risk of losing custody of my daughter. Where I used to have joint custody, I now only see her every other weekend. I am no longer experiencing psychosis, but I am severely depressed and it’s hard not to feel hopeless. I have always, always struggled with my mental health, but nothing like this. I ruined relationships, including the coparenting relationship with my daughter’s father, who I was with for three years. I blame myself for the ending of that relationship. I blame myself for everything. I don’t recognize myself anymore. My grip on reality changed a little over year ago and now I feel like I’ve been ripped away from everything I love/used to love. I used to read, write, smile, laugh, have hope. Now it feels as though I have nothing. I am so unsure what to do. I feel like a lost cause. I would appreciate prayers, please. I need God’s grace, His mercy, his help. I am scared. If I lose my daughter completely, I will have lost everything and I don’t know how to reconcile with myself over all of this. I want to be okay, I want to have hope again, I want to fall in love again. I’m only 27. I would so greatly appreciate any help.