I’m low key badass

Some times I just remember the shit I’d do around 12-16. I have no idea how I’m still alive with all the drugs I took and the stupid desperate choices I made. I seriously was at the ripe age of 16 making my own lean and drinking it regularly (And I had the audacity to think I wasn’t relapsing on my opioid addictions cause ‘it’s just cough syrup’ god have mercy I was dumb.)

Now I’m happily sober and I’m kinda glad I got all that out of my system. I have no intentions of ever relapsing on the hard stuff (I’m deadass terrified of opioids now I had a surgery and refused any pain treatment that had opioids in it cause I was so afraid of getting addicted.) I still struggle with craving alcohol but that’s easy to ignore my family matters more to me than forgetting I exist. Took driving off a cliff to figure that one out but I made my decision to live even if it’s just for others.

I’m a very resilient person my past made me grow up very fast and learn how to shut up and listen and I’m grateful I turned out the kind and understanding person I am. I had every right to turn out hateful and bitter but I chose not to I made that choice that no matter how badly I’m hurting I’m never taking it out on another person cause it’s not their battle I’m fighting. I feel like that makes me kinda badass, that I can survive being put through a childhood of abuse and neglect and despite the odds I didn’t turn out anything like my bio parents. That’s enough for me. I was stronger as a child than my parents ever were, so that must mean that somewhere in me that strong smart and brave person is there.