Am I dumb? Am I destroying myself?

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and we recently started fighting and broke up then got back together. Everything has been fine till just recently. He wanted a open relationship and i agreed to it as long as we don't have secrets. However I have noticed hes been lying and avoiding me telling me he needs space and im love bombing when we barely see each other or talk cause our work schedules dont match. I have seen him on dating sites. Hes locked me out of all his devices saying I need to stay out of his privacy. But want access to mine. He has told me I have controlling problems and that im just mental. Tells everyone lies about me and makes me seem like a monster. And his friends hate me over his lies. He says he loves me but I feel it gas-lightning me... out of all this I love him but am I dumb to love him after all this....