I (16M) talked to my crush (15F) after 5 years. Do you think she is interested in me? Do I have a chance? Should I confess? I need advice....

So this is gonna be a really long post so please bear with me. If you dont have time then just read the TL;DR or read the parts of text in bold.
First, let me introduce the people involved in this story to avoid confusion later on. (These are just made up names, obviously I wont use their real names)

First is me.
Second is my best friend since Grade 1, we’ll call him Mark.
Third is my childhood crush, let’s call her Anne.
Fourth is Anne’s close friend, we’ll call her Riley. Mark and I used to have a very complex dynamic with Riley. We both used to argue and have those silly, childish fights with her almost daily. We genuinely hated her with all our heart back then she was also my academic rival (I know that sounds corny but yeah). That said, we were also kind of friends with Riley because she was Anne’s friend, and Anne was our mutual friend. So by default, there was a weird friendship in there too.
Fifth is another girl — let’s call her Natalie. She was also a common friend of mine, Mark, Riley, and Anne. But she wasn’t part of Riley and Anne’s best friend duo or our friend group either. She was just kind of in the middle and got along with all of us.

All of us were in the same class from 3rd grade to 5th grade.

Obviously now all of us are on great terms, and none of us actually hate each other anymore, that was all just childhood drama. We haven’t met in person even once since 5th grade, we just talk through Instagram. We have seen each other again in exam halls (which I’ll talk about in detail later in the post).

So, here’s the actual story.

Anne joined our school in 3rd grade. Since her very first day, I had a crush on her, but obviously, I was literally a kid back then so it wasn’t anything romantic or deep. I just liked her the way any kid likes their crush. Surprisingly, we became really, really, really good friends. I say surprisingly because, like most kids, the boys in our class despised the girls and the girls despised the boys. My friend group used to have regular childish fights and arguments with the girls for no reason at all. I actually remember looking forward to 6th grade just because I knew we’d get separated and go to boys-only and girls-only campuses. But despite all that, me and that girl were genuinely close friends. In fact, now that I think about it, and after discussing it with a few old classmates, I think ours was the only proper boy-girl friendship in our class.

We used to sit together almost every day, joke around, laugh, and she’d often come to me crying whenever other girls teased her or said something mean. This friendship lasted from 3rd to 5th grade. And then just like that, we got split up and went to separate campuses. We had no contact at all until 10th grade, five years later.

Fast forward to this May (I am now in high school), during my CAIEs (these are like the most important exams of our lives, you can Google about them for more details), I saw that her school was also giving exams at the same exam centre as mine. After spotting her there, I sent her a request on Instagram. She accepted, and I messaged her. At first, the conversation was super dry. We just talked about exams. I even pointed out how we were both being dry and how the chat was going nowhere.

But then the next day, I asked about her exam again and not only did she reply, but she actually carried the conversation herself. When I said I was gonna go study since I had nothing more to say and felt the convo was dying, she suddenly brought up a random memory from 5th grade. It was a very specific joke I once told her. The next day, same thing happened. After a short conversation about the exam, she randomly brought up another 5th-grade memory about this random girl and bunch of random stories just to keep the convo going. To match her energy, I reminded her of a memory where she told some girls she had a cinema in her house and they teased her for it. She came to me crying and I defended her. Not only did she remember it, but she remembered more details than I did. She even said, “I don’t remember those girls, I just remember that I came to you and complained.”

Then she told me she had seen me in the exam hall every single day. She listed the exact days when she did and didn’t see me, and the days she didn’t were exactly the ones where I was actually sitting in a different hall.

Later, I asked her if she knew a good Accounts teacher. She replied with voice notes, which is something girls rarely do in my country . She casually mentioned that her sister is an Accounts teacher, and then had her sister send me long voice notes explaining everything. Both of them were so chill and friendly, like the five-year gap had never even happened. Then, she literally offered me to be taught by her sister.

More stuff happened after that. One day we were talking about past paper preparation and I was about to end the conversation again, but out of nowhere she said, “Remember in class 4 I voted for you…” and went on to tell a whole story about my very lame joke about ACs. Later, I mentioned that I found one specific subject really difficult and because of that I might skip a whole chapter of that subject. She insisted and persuaded me not to skip it and started texting me what seemed like notes of that chapter. I figured she was writing a full set of notes, so I told her it’d be easier if she just sent a picture. But then she told me her notes wouldn't be legible in the pictures because they were written in light pink ink. SO, GUESS WHAT SHE DID? She literally rewrote the entire notes again just for me. I didn’t even ask her to do that. She just did it herself and sent them to me!!!!!!

A few days later, she randomly sent me four old pictures from 4th grade. All of them had me in them. She said she still had those saved and the fact is that she sent exactly the ones with me.

After this, she word for word told me, “I am literally really really sad that all those good people and good memories like your AC jokes are just memories now.” (She was referring to that same old joke I mentioned earlier.)

Then she started opening up to me more. She told me about her mental health, how she cries every night and can’t sleep. She told me she suffers from severe headaches even if she somehow gets a few hours of sleep. She also kept checking in on me too, especially about my sleep schedule. I sleep after sunrise and she would always get mad at me for that and lecture me on how to fix it.

She told me where she lives, that she lives in a joint family, about all her cousins, their ages, her daily life, how her routine works. She even helped me make pasta for my mom, messaging me the recipe and helping me step by step. She helped me with everything I did for my Mom on Mother’s day.

Once I told her that whenever I take my brother or sister to the cinema, they always ask me to buy them something afterwards (in exchange for going with me). To that, she replied, “I would never do that” and “If I was there, I would have let it go” (NOW I KNOW, I AM BEING VERY DELUSIONAL BUT ISNT SHE TECHNICALLY IMPLYING IF I ASK HER OUT, SHE ISNT GONNA DO WHAT MY SIBLINGS DO?)

We both used to apologize whenever we were late to reply, so it’s not like it’s one-sided care (now we are way past that stage, there IS no need to apologize.). She always reacts to my messages with hearts, and sometimes she’d change them to the love letter emoji. And she always adds extra letters to her words like heyyyy, yessss, noooo, hiiii, etc.

But then one day, she told me she went to her grandmother’s house and after that, her replies started to feel off. They became slower, less energetic, a little dry.

So after she told me she was at her grandma’s house, like I said earlier, something felt off. We didn’t talk for around one or two weeks. Then I messaged her, and that’s when she told me she’d been admitted to a hospital. That’s why she hadn’t been able to talk. I asked her how she was feeling, the usual stuff you’d ask someone who’s sick, and she told me she was much better now.

We briefly talked about an upcoming cultural event, nothing too deep. But then something surprising happened, for the first time ever, she initiated the conversation and texted me first. She sent me a video of her cat, and we ended up talking about that for a while. (But now that I think about it, I did ask her to send me a video of her cat once before)

Fast forward maybe a few more days or a week or two, and we didn’t talk much. Just small chats here and there. Funny thing, one day we literally talked for 30 minutes about how we had nothing to talk about.

Still, I couldn’t feel the same energy from her like in the beginning, the energy that made me think she might’ve been interested. Then once, I jokingly brought up the fact that she never texts me first. She then told me she didnt ever text me first because she thought I would be annoyed. I obviously told her I wouldnt be annoyed. I also mentioned that I still had to return the favor for her rewriting those notes for me, but she just brushed it off and said it was fine, and I didn’t need to worry about that.

Then one day we had this really long, really deep conversation — almost like a debate — about sympathy vs empathy. She strongly believed in empathy, while I supported sympathy. That somehow turned into a philosophical talk about life, and she even opened up about her personal philosophy — how she believes life should be led. It honestly sounded a bit robotic and emotionless at first, but I realized it was just her being extremely practical.

Later on, after sitting with all of this and having a bunch of realizations, I decided to just be honest with her. I told her straight up that it literally felt like I was talking to a different person. I told her how friendly, casual, and fun she used to be, and how I missed that side of her. As it turns out, I wasn’t overthinking it. It wasn’t just me. She admitted she had been extremely busy with volunteer work and barely had time for anything. By the time I messaged her (which was usually around 2–3 a.m.), she was already drained because she had to wake up early (like 9 or 10 a.m.) and sleep really late. She told me she was actually glad I was honest with her and said she especially liked that I didn’t sugarcoat anything.

Now, I know this is a bit late to bring up, but since Mark is my best friend, I told him everything, literally everything. At first, I didn’t tell him who the girl was out of respect for her privacy, but he figured it out eventually. He was one of the only 3 people I shared all of this with (him, my sister and Natalie), and I can’t even begin to explain how much he helped me. He deserves a whole separate post honestly. He told me what to say, how to express what I was feeling, and just really, really helped me through all of it.

And that is why I call him the world’s number one wingman. Here’s what he did that earned him that title. So, like I mentioned earlier, Mark and I were friends with Riley and Anne. Now, even though Mark wasnt on good terms with one of Riley and Anne’s friends and had kind of stopped talking to them as well, he still reached out to Riley again just for me. He literally set his pride aside (I know this lowkey sounds overdramatic but you get my point, right?), started talking to Riley again (despite her friend being the reason for them being not so good terms), and even played games with her online, just to rebuild their friendship. Then he pitched her this idea of a reunion between both our friend groups (which was actually my idea), but he’s the one who brought it up. Riley instantly agreed. Then Mark asked if Anne would be comfortable in this reunion because Mark really didnt talk to her, to which Riley said that she’ll be totally fine if I will be there because Anne told Riley that we talk all the time and so much. Then Mark (giving the assist of the century) jokingly said that they should get me and Anne married. Riley also jokingly agreed to it and said that all of us might be able to have to have a reunion in our marriage. Then they talked a bit more and Mark (once again with his assists) said that Mark and Riley should leave me and Anne alone during the reunion and once again Riley totally agreed to it. (Now I know it is Riley saying all of this but I know that no friend will even jokingly agree to something like this unless they know their friend wouldnt mind it)

Just like that, it was happening. I was finally about to see my childhood crush again after 5 years. But then things went downhill. (Once again I know it sounds dramatic, but it really did.) I talked to Anne about the plan like three days before the meetup, and she seemed completely surprised by the fact that we (me and Mark) were also going to be there. Apparently, Riley never told her it was a proper reunion. She had only told her it was a “girls meetup,” and that maybe we might randomly say hi or something if we happened to be around. So I had to clear that up for Anne because although I really wanted to meet her, I definitely didnt want to lie or deceive or trick her into meeting me and I also didnt want her to be a part of a plan she didnt completely know the details of.

Then, just one day before the meetup, I got seriously sick. Like hospital sick. I had to be admitted. Mark also couldn’t come that day because he had a doctor’s appointment. So the whole plan fell apart. The girls still went to the place we had decided on and had fun.

I asked Anne how their day went and it turns out she didn’t even go. For whatever reason, she skipped the plan entirely. That’s when, for the first time, I decided to drop a subtle hint that I might be into her. I said something like,
“I guess I didn’t miss out on much since you weren’t there.”
But I got nervous that it was too direct, so I followed it up with,
“Because you’re the only one I actually talk to from your friend group.”

And man she completely ignored the first message and only replied “yeahh” to the second one 😭

After this I didnt talk to her for a long time. It gave me time to think about how I really felt about all of this. I came to a bunch of realisations about why the “me during May” is totally different from the “me now”. I was really emotionally immature. This coupled with the fact that Anne was the first girl I actually interacted with in 5 years (I have female cousins and I did talk to Riley before that but I wont really count that). Therefore, I didnt know how girls behaved and acted. I mistook common gestures of kindness and friendliness (which I believed were uncommon) for signs or hints of interest. I was also being very delusional and was overthinking because she was my crush (is this what everyone does for their crushes?). I also for some reason felt that I “had” to get in a relationship with a girl (this was probably because I feared if I didnt talk to any girls, then I might have difficulties in interacting with girls in college). I was also really stressed out because of those exams (which are literally the hardest and most important exams I am ever gonna attempt in my life), so talking to her was a breath of fresh air. Simply, put I started to doubt if I even had feelings for her. I was 100% sure she wasnt interested in me by then. But I even started doubting my own interest. Dont get me wrong, I still believe she is the most perfect girl I have ever met in my life. She is prettiest girl I have seen. She is the kindest and most friendly girl I have ever talked to. She is pretty smart and intellectual. She is really helpful. She is also religious (which I know might not matter to y’all but it does to me).
I realized this is definitely not lust or love. Not lust because I havent even seen her in years and I have honestly never had any inappropriate thoughts about her. Also not love because we are just teenagers and I doubt I fell in love with someone I havent met in years. So yeah, it’s more than a crush but less than love. So idk what to call it.

But after a lot of doubts I decided I should talk to some other girls in order to better understand my feelings and her feelings. I then talked to Natalie and a few other girls for the first time in 5 years. Guess what? She was even more friendly and energetic (she literally talked in all caps the whole time as if she was really excited). But this time, I didnt feel that “feeling” which I felt for Anne (which sorta removed my doubts for my feelings for her). I talked to her and then decided to seek her advice on all of this. I told her everything and she (which I know was either a lie to make me feel good or she is equally delusional) said that I totally have a chance and that either Anne is romantically interested or wants me to be her best friend. She said that all those gestures of kindness & friendliness (like rewriting her notes) and how she overshared with me really surprised her because they might be common for other girls but according to her Anne is never like that. She said (and I dont remember when but Riley also told Mark the same thing) that Anne never even shares anything to her close friends in school, so it was surprising that she did share a lot with me. She also told me that Anne had been in a situationship like 3 months ago.

As I said, we didnt talk for like a whole month and then yesterday I messaged her again and started the convo by sending her an old picture of our school trip to the cinema. We reminisced about it for a while. Then we talked about struggles of wearing glasses and lenses and a bunch of random things after that. However, the important thing is that after a long long time, I FELT THE SAME ENERGY THAT I HAD FELT FROM HER BACK IN MAY. SHE WAS SO MUCH MORE TALKATIVE THAN ME. SHE CARRIED THE CONVO ONCE AGAIN. SHE WROTE LONG PARAGRAPHS AND WAS JUST LIKE THE OLD ANNE (also she is done with her volunteer work, so maybe thats why). And I know this might not seem like a lot to y’all but I clearly remember that when we started talking and when we said bye to each other, she would always say “ttyl” instead of saying bye. But then during the “dry phase”, she started saying bye only. But yesterday, she said “ttyl” AGAIN!!!!!.

After talking to her, I texted Mark and jokingly asked him to help me win her back (as if I ever had her for me to be able to lose her and then win her back). He said he’ll do something. Guess what he did? He texted Riley and told her I liked Anne. I gotta say he fumbled at the start because he said “He loves Anne”, but then covered it up by saying that he was listening to a bunch of love songs and thats why he said love even though he meant like. Then she told him that she knew it (like not knew knew, but like she kinda figured it out). Then she told him that after our CAIEs ended and the girls had a meetup (not the one I mentioned earlier, this one was back in May), Anne showed them our (mine and Anne’s) chats. And said quote on quote “This guy is pretty interesting”. And then all her friends gave her the side eye and started teasing her for that and she started to blush and get shy and just said “I mean, he is interesting to talk to…” (ISNT THIS A SORT OF A CONFESSION!?!?!?!?!?!) Then both of them decided that they are gonna set us (me and Anne) up for a relationship. But Riley also said that Anne usually doesnt do situationships or relationships.
 
Now I dont know who to trust. On one hand, Riley says she doesnt do situationships. On the other hand, Natalie told me Anne was in a situationship 3 months ago. But if I had to choose one, I would trust Natalie more because in the latest convo of Riley and Mark, although she did say they should set us up, still she generally hinted that she didnt want this relationship for some reason.

Also random piece of information but the only boys she follows on her instagram account are Mark and me. THATS CRAZY AF. I MEAN WHO DOESNT FOLLOW THE OPPOSITE GENDER? LIKE FOLLOWING ISNT A COMITMENT OR FLIRTING OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. EVEN I FOLLOWED A BUNCH (LIKE 20 OR 30) GIRLS (but now I unfollowed them and removed almost all of them from my following as well). Also apart from that one cat video, she has never texted me first,

Now I need y’all to tell me if I should confess to her or not. I dont know what should I do. I dont wanna regret not confessing but I also dont wanna ruin our friendship by confessing iykwim. What I am thinking is that I wont confess rn. I’ll just tell her that it is really interesting, enjoyable and fun to talk to her. And then maybe I’ll confess, some time in the future. But idk, y’all give me advice on what I should do now

(also one advice that I have gotten way too many times is that I need to stop overthinking and calm down. That I need to stop reading between the lines and all that. So yeah, I am taking that advice sincerely, but I am out here looking for something else)