My wife isn’t interested in sex

I’ve been married for almost little more than a year to my wife, and I’ve been with her for 6 years. We had a rough past with verbal abuse and we also threw things at each other once. I’ve been in therapy for 1.5 years and things have improved drastically in all ways. I’m a better person, and therefore I’ve been a better husband and father, and my wife says she finally feels like she has a partner and she feels seen and heard now. When things were particularly bad, she would have sex with me much less, and would essentially do it to “shut me up” or so that I would be more tolerable for a few days. I feel terrible for all of the negative things I’m responsible for, and have been working my ass off to reverse course and keep trending in a positive direction. We are physically intimate. Oh, we’re also 45. We hug, kiss, make out, cuddle, and hold hands. That’s physical intimacy to her. I like it too, but I also see physical intimacy as having tiers. I love the physical connection that I get from all of that, but I like the physical connection from sex more. She doesn’t see a distinction. We ONLY have sex if she wants it, or is in the mood. She doesn’t really get turned on by anything other than me massaging her. I usually offer to rub her, often because sometimes it turns her on enough to have sex. Sometimes it doesn’t. She would rather sleep than have sex. She also says me offering or asking about rubs kinda turns her off and makes her feel as if “her worth is only measured by how often she wants to have sex”

She’s also now treating a thyroid issue, which does make her feel shitty. I’m totally empathetic to what she’s going through. She’s also peri menopausal and her hormones haven’t been treated, yet.

So I don’t know what to do. I’d like to have sex with her more, and feel more connected, but she couldn’t care less. I’d like her to WANT to have sex with me because she wants me, and not just because she knows I want it, so she has sex with me.