I want to live to 60

I want to live to 60.

I will let my white hair flow in the air, proud of its naturally snowy color, and more than that, proud of myself for having lived so long that I don't even need to dye my hair silver.

I want to close my eyes at night, smiling, and thinking that I have survived for s i x t y years. I will have lived twenty-one thousand and one hundred days. I will have survived suicide attempts, grief, fear, pain, and possibly lots of accidents that I will have been lucky enough to dodge.

I want to see the difficulty of my life on my body. I want to see my skin slowly getting loose, like it's allowing itself to finally rest and not protect my body at its full power. I want my muscles to get calm and relaxed. I want my eyes to have wrinkles around them from smiling so often. I want to look at the veins on the back of my hands, and see, how strong and reliable they are at sending blood to all of my cells, 24/7. I will be at awe, of how my heart will have constantly been beating, not missing a single beat, two million and five hundred and twenty-two thousand times. Just picturing how beautiful and reliable this system is makes me smile.

What a privilege it is, to live so long for your body to get ill. For your body to want to relax, before your mind.