My Boyfriend is Late to Everything, but he Really Messed Up

Some context: My (23f) boyfriend (26m), let's call him Bailey, is late to everything. If I am not there to kick his butt into gear, he will be late from anywhere between 5min-2hrs. He is always late going to work (he was late by almost 2hrs the other day), family dinners, you get the picture. Even when I am there trying to get him ready to go in time, we are late. My biggest pet peeve is being late. If I'm not early by 10mins to something, I feel late. Also, about a month ago, our tenant upstairs recently clogged the toilet and made it overflow for at least a couple of hours and didn't notice (we were at dinner). When we came home, our house smelled of sewer and our bathroom was completely flooded with water. Now we have to completely redo both bathrooms (walls, floors, everything. Plus, our house has asbestos, so that's fun). This will be relevant later.

Last week, my sister (19f, let's call her Alice) came up for the weekend to visit me, mom, and dad. She is currently going to school out of town, but was able to come up for the weekend. The main thing she wanted to do was go fishing for a day. We decided to do it the day before she goes, as it would be a nice way to end the weekend. On Saturday, I informed Bailey that we would be going fishing on Sunday, and he was more than welcome to come. Bailey is not the type of guy who likes fishing. He is more of a computer guru and typically prefers to stay home. When he said he would like to go, I was thrilled. I told him we would be leaving at 8:30am sharp on Sunday and to not be late because we would leave without him (the lake is about an hour away). He said if he were late, he would drive himself to the lake. I said that isn't plausible as there is no cell reception at the lake, and we would have no way of knowing when he would arrive. I reiterated that if he were late, we would leave without him. He understood.

You see, I was staying the night at my mom's on Saturday because we were having a movie night. So, I wouldn't be home to make sure Bailey would be out of bed and motivated. That night, I called and wished my bf a goodnight and told him how excited I was that he would be joining. He said it would be nice to go to the lake and spend some time with my family. We talked, and then I went to bed.

Sunday morning, I wake up at 7am and begin to help my family get everything ready. Pack the coolers, make lunch, all the jazzy stuff. At 7:30am, I called my bf to make sure he was awake. He answered, said he was awake, and would be there at 8:30am. I said Perfect, see you then. When 8:15am rolled around, I noticed that my "back door" camera hadn't gone off (it usually goes off when someone leaves the house) and decided to see if his car was still in the driveway. It was. Upset, I called him. He declined my call. Ok, weird. He then texted me "In the shower". This man was just showering now? He is 15mins away from my parents' house, and he was just showering. I texted, "You're gonna be late, you won't make it in time". I looked at my mom and sister, defeated. We were all ready to go, and my boyfriend was just waking up and showering. I knew it would be at least another 20-30 mins before he came up. I told him, "If you're not here at 8:30am, we are leaving without you". He said, "I'm running behind, I'll be there as soon as I can".

8:30am rolls around, and he didn't show up. I check my cameras, car is still in the driveway. I texted him, "Don't bother coming, we are leaving". We leave, and he leaves me on read. It was such an amazing time on the lake. We went swimming, caught (and released) about 5 fish, and came home looking like tomatoes. When we finally got cell service, I looked to see if Bailey texted me, but he didn't. When I got to my mom's, away from everyone, I called him upset. He said he doesn't understand why we couldn't have waited. I scoffed and reiterated that if he wasn't there at 8:30am we would leave without him, and this was entirely his fault. He said he was sorry, he hates being late to everything, and he tried fixing this problem but hasn't been successful. I said that maybe it's time to see a doctor to help because it's affecting his job and his personal life. We talked some more and ended the call.

When I was getting ready to drive home, I started feeling sick. I don't do well in the sun, and I began to feel dizzy, my head was throbbing, and I felt nauseous. I knew I couldn't drive. I called Bailey and asked him to pick me up. When he got to my parents' place, he got out of his car, but didn't come inside. Weird, he always comes inside. I was grabbing my stuff, hugged my family goodbye, and told my mom I would be back tomorrow to grab my car. As Bailey drove me home, it was super awkward. But I was too sick to even talk, so I just sat there. When we got home, I immediately went to bed. He came to snuggle, but I just fell asleep.

The next day, we talked. I said how it was unacceptable for him to always be late, and this was the icing on top of the cake. He apologized and said he can't help it. The thing is, this is getting out of control. His always being late is wearing on me. I told him this if affecting our relationship, and it hurts when I can't trust someone to be on time. I said he was awkward around my parents when he came to get me, and it made me feel uncomfortable. He said he was embarrassed. I said, "You could have apologized". But he said, "You could have waited.". Defeated, I knew he wasn't getting the point and asked him to drive me to my parents so I could grab my car. When we got there, again he didn't go into the house, made everyone feel uncomfortable, so I told them I loved them and left.

Come to today, we have to be out of our house tomorrow for at least a week. The construction people will rip up everything in the bathroom, and we won't be able to use it. I told Bailey I would be staying with my parents, and he said he would like to as well. I was shocked, this man lives 5 mins from his work and can't make it on time. Now he will be 15 mins away from his work. But ok, I called my mom (away from Bailey) and asked if we could stay at their place for a week. My mom said I was more than welcome, but Bailey was not. He hasn't apologized for last weekend, and she doesn't want to be responsible for waking him up in the morning so he can go to work on time. She said, "He and I need to talk because he disrespected me and my time, and that's unacceptable". I agreed. So, tonight Bailey and I will be going up for dinner. He doesn't know anything my mom has said yet. I feel so stuck in the middle, and it's destroying me. I just needed to get this off my chest. I will update soon :)