My boyfriend and my best friend.

Pretty much as the title says. I lost my boyfriend and my best friend in the same night. I’m extremely introverted and my best friend was my only close friend. I have a couple of acquaintances and a large family, but needless to say, I feel so heartbroken.

Here’s the story.

I met this guy, Z, we’ll call him, through our mutual friend A. A is my best friend. Z and I quickly were attached at the hip - doing all kinds of things together. We met 3 weeks before I was moving south for the winter, and I never expected him to go for it, but he did. We became official and spent the next 4 months long-distance, which was surprisingly wonderful. We visited often and when we did it was nothing short of perfect. When I moved home, it was just as great. We maintained a good relationship and were just as inseparable.

Some backstory: Occasionally, there were concerns on my part about Z and A’s friendship (although they never hung out alone) Z always heard and listened to these respectfully. No red flags there. It was a distant, adult friendship.

In June, there had been a rodeo I was unable to attend. A few days prior, Z and I had discussed his boundaries with A and he knew I had some concerns due to a past relationship. I felt heard and seen - NBD. A few days after the rodeo, I found out A was there and Z did not tell me. I was obviously concerned and asked him where he slept, he told me his car, I trusted him so we talked it through and all was fine. Our relationship continued without any further hiccups regarding A.

Anyways. Everything was great. He treated me so good. When the time came where it was appropriate, I got flowers, dates, surprises and the sweetest love letters. I was so in love. We openly began to discuss our plans for the future and marriage. I started to feel like Z could be the one.

Then, one fateful night a few days ago, my best friend A and I were having fun at a local rodeo, drinking, visiting with people, etc. A let it slip - “Z stayed in my hotel room in June.”

My world came crashing down. I immediately took Z outside and asked him about it. I asked him why he lied. He told me he didn’t, that I was just drunk and he “never told me he slept in his car.” I know for a fact that he said that - I remember that clear as day. I was upset and left the grounds. Z came a little while later to the hotel room to get his things and leave. I have never cried that much in my life, nor cried or yelled at a man like that. I couldn’t comprehend the disrespect or the betrayal from a man who said he loved me and wanted to marry me. He said he hid it because he didn’t want to lose me; I asked him why the hell he did it in the first place then?

Both insist nothing happened. I don’t care whether anything happened, that is irrelevant. The situation is inappropriate no matter how you look at it. Let alone to hide it and lie about it for months. Apparently A was having a rough night and Z was comforting her - I’m sure we can all use our imagination and fill in the blanks. Even if no sex was had, it’s extremely disrespectful to the person you are with - and to your best friend. Then to not even tell me. Just wow.

I dumped Z almost immediately. The following day I “dumped” A as a friend over text. She never even responded to my text. That hurts, a lot. I knew in the past she had slept with a girl’s boyfriend (unknowingly) and did not disclose it to the girlfriend afterwards - I assumed it was a one-off, a tough situation, now I know it is simply her character. I don’t want that person in my life.

This may sound insignificant in writing, but I feel so alone, so please be kind. I’m just numb, trying to wrap my head around it all.

TL;DR: Bf stayed alone in a hotel room with my best friend, both lied to me for months, I dumped them both immediately- an insane turn of events that I can’t really comprehend yet.