Just your friendly neighbourhood sadist. But first, you have to ask.

I promise I'm approachable. Don't hesitate to message me.

Who I Am

32/M/UK 6'3"

I usually listen. Unless I'm excited. Or competitive.

An ethnographer (I was being interviewed!) once told me I speak almost entirely in metaphors.
The next day, she invited me over.

At university I calculated that mead was the cheapest possible alcohol I could produce. My party tricks were bottles of mead and counting to 1023 on ten fingers (binary!).
Yes. This worked.

These days, when I mention that I got arrested at a Red Bull-sponsored house party, the response is "what?? you??"

Approach to dynamics

I like to get to know you for a while. If we click, then things escalate. I have had a mix of long distance and medium distance. Light and playful, or very, very deep. Something local is new to me. I'm curious.

Sometimes, the most fun I can have is saying no.

I start off relaxed.
I build foundations.
If our connection deepens, the scaffolding rises.
I become more intentional, more demanding. Then we settle into a safe and happy equilibrium.
Then, a strong structure is left standing.

I like control.
I like trust.
I like depth.
Vulnerability is mutability.

The lovely thing is - that works both ways.

Conclusion

If you're unsure how to reach out, here are some prompts:

Is there a book, show, or game that you always recommend?
Do you have a favourite poet?
The cat in my profile has a name. If you don't know it: I'd love to tell you.
Che vuoi? If you don't know it: I'd love to tell you (and what it means in bed).

Bonus

Since you got this far, have a poem:

Come, fill the Cup, and in the fire of Spring
Your Winter-garment of Repentance fling:
The Bird of Time has but a little way
To flutter — and the Bird is on the Wing

2025-08

It isn't vaporwave, but I do like Sabrina Carpenter, so have Manchild. I've been asked a few times, so to be clear: I much prefer her to Chappell Roan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSugSGCC12I

There's a lot of Lacan in Tek It by Cafuné, and the music video is very good! It reminds me of Interstellar 5555.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RWbq-lbBlk

Wet Leg are still awesome, but they put out a new single, CPR which is now my summer tune.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeL2M8jBEI4

2025-05

catch these fists by Wet Leg is my summer tune.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Kjz89xYmS4

I love vaporwave, therefore I love Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVli-tstM5E

If you're reading this, then you must be really interested in my musical taste. So here's Air War, by Crystal Castles.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZUvP2AQsps