I have nobody, haven’t had any friends in 5 years.

I used to be social I used to talk. Now I sit with my thoughts knowing no one gives a fuck it if I die or not. My gf recently told me she hasn’t loved me in awhile and wanted a break so basically to me that’s a breakup. She was the only thing holding me together and the only real reason I haven’t tried to kill myself. The last time we broke up I literally was admitted to a psych ward after threatening to kill myself and the cops putting me under arrest . I have no one. I have nothing . Let me die in peace. I don’t wanna do this anymore, I don’t wanna suffer every waking second of every day since 2020. I’m tired . I just can’t do this anymore. I’ve tried so much therapy, every fucking med under the sun , cbt, and more. Thinking of getting tms or some brain surgery idk. I can’t live like this. I won’t be here for much longer. Even though no one gives a fuck about me I still love everyone, I love when other people are happier than me.