What does anything mean?

It’s weird. All of a sudden, everything is flat. I feel numb. I’m not happy, but… I’m also not sad. I feel like: what is the point of sadness when there isn’t a point to anything? It’s freeing, but terrifying. I finally don’t have the weight of the world on my shoulders… the bad has been lifted. It doesn’t matter. The bad doesn’t matter, the good doesn’t matter… what is the point.

I want to learn how to live, but I have no energy for it. It’s exhausting. I barely survive. I don’t know what it feels like to live. I don’t know who I am. I feel so lost but also… like I can breathe again.

I don’t know what this means. I don’t know if this makes any sense.