No reason to back down

So hear me out, I'll try to make it short. Knowing myself I probably won't but if you manage to take the time to read it all it will mean a lot. I jus twant to share my weird POV.

I've had a shitty childhood and was an absolute cunt myself. I do blame my parents but I also feel absolutely awful as to how terrible I was myself, and is a great source of anxiety.

I have not gone any better growing up and have alienated myself from absolutely everyone. I have no-one in my life. Last time I was intimate with someone was 8 years ago, and I have no friendly relationship with anyone including family or work.

To counter that, I've thrown myself hopelessly into work. I'm not a workaholic however I have worked more 15h shifts than a med school student, up to 7 days weeks for 3 month straight. I just wanted to accomplish something. Yet I could hardly last more than a year at each job due to being insufferable.

I was sacked by text as I was passing security in an airport as I just moved in and bought a car there. At the 7days week job where I stopped counting weekly hours after I reached 100, my boss threw down a fist fight accusing me of stealing (I wasn't). Anywho, details.

Latest in date is my current job that I fell in love with, I have been there for 7 years. The dream job. As usual, I worked harder than anyone in the building and had zero work life balance. None. I never asked for a raise or anything. I built a team and fought for them every day, yet the second I have one single problem in 7 years, I was not even given a 5 min chat. A 1 minute chat. I was in fact avoided and ghosted. I had enough and took a medical leave without notice, and the first day I didn't turn up I received only one message: "are you off today?". That's it. Not "are you okay". This was the one and only message I got from my supervisor after me not coming to work from 7 years of zero sick leave.

So here's my point, what's the point in keeping going? I have been thinking about for many years actually but now I don't see any point in keeping going. At all.

Looking ahead, whether it be personally, regarding family, or society in general, all 3 really have nauseating future prospects that I really don't want to be part of. I just don't give a shit anymore, about anything. I have no reason to. And I think that's fine.

I heard Bill Burr say recently that you spend the first 40 years collecting people, and the 2nd losing them. Well I'm turning 39, and have achieved absolutely nothing at all. No job gives a shit about me, and no human either. I've just reached the end of my rope, the end of my purpose on this planet. And I'm at peace with it. Sure it sucks, but I've given it my all, and reached nowhere. I'm done. I'm ready.

If you've made it that far, thank you very much. Feel free to tell me how wrong I am/downvote/report me if you feel like it. However if you want to tell me that I was wrong for working so much for free without asking for raises or whatever, you can save your time as it will otherwise be wasted.