I was supposed to get some makeup today but I was too scared. I wish I could just die.

I'm so fed up. I don't want to be me anymore. It was the perfect opportunity to do it and I fucked it up. I just want to die. I can't stand being myself any longer. I can't ever help myself and just screw myself over.

I was out with a friend who wanted to help me aswell. I messed up by being too anxious. I'm never gonna socially transition.... I can't take this.