I need to vent.

I did post this in mommit too... but

I want to cry. I don't know what to do. I can't go back to work (i am a supervisor of an FEC ) i can't go back for my own mental health. But I don't think we (my familyof four) can do it unless I go back. I got paid a decent amount for my position... my husband says he wants to mee to get a different job, or to stay home, he says he doesn't want me to go back but he doesn't want to get a new job because " he is comfortable where he is at".... except i made more money at the fec ... except we have two kids to care for.... except I HATED my job.... except his job isn't enough... but he comfortable so... I'm so disappointed in my husband.... I'm so hurt ... I feel like he just says, sweet nothing's all the time. Like this sounds good so i'm going to say it but that's as far as it ever goes.

That the amount of stress from this toxic environment is to much. ( I know everyone says they're in a toxic work environment, However mine is painfully true... The assistant manager comes in drunk or It doesn't show up at all And I get called in on my day off to cover her ass then I'm told to sneak out before the general manager comes in, The general manager is a complete jackass and talks to everyone like they are lesser. All of my employees complain about him making them feel like they don't matter or that they're stupid. I tell them to go to courprate and I get called in and warned that my "advice was unacceptable" and that I need to be a "team player"). The manager who didn't get fired sucks at her job, She barely does anything so it gets put on me. She makes me do the schedule and makes me do all the orders and everything, But then changes it before it gets finalized and then blames me for everything. The employees will complain about hours being cut.But then she changes the schedule i've done. Or They complaint about the prizes at the price counter being weird She's the one who changed it but still tell everyone "oh well she did the order so..."

I don't want to go back i feel like i can't handle it anymore... But I feel like if I make the final decision to not go back then I'm putting my family and jeopardy. I'm putting my credit score My financial future in jeopardy. I've been trying so hard over the past six years to get my shit together. My credit score is 780 now. Ive been busting my ass to get there... but now I'm supposed to just trust that my husband will do it all, But he's not even trying it willing to find a different job to get paid more to support us. But he wants me to stay at home and take care of the kids.... But he's comfortable... It literally pisses me off and makes me feel disgusting inside. I have this heavyess in my chest and all I want to do is cry.

I don't know what I expect out of posting this. I just needed to get it out... I don't know what to do and all I want to do is cry, but yep that's my situation.

Thanks for reading my gigantic rant..