Did my partner take advantage of me while I was drunk?

NSFWWas This Sexual Assault?

I 23F, and my now ex-boyfriend 26M. We dated for about a month, and he was my first boyfriend EVER. Let's just say he is quite experienced... I mean MUCH MUCH more... whereas I am not. I shared my first kiss with him (my first everything to be honest), and while we did almost everything else, we never actually had intercourse.

Looking back, I felt that the relationship had a predatory aspect because he was aware of my dating inexperience. I felt more like a notch on his belt rather than someone he actually loved. However, putting that aside, there is one thing that concerns me. Although I don't drink often, I felt safe enough to do so when I was with him since he was always sober (specifically straight edge). This resulted in me being pretty drunk during our most intimate moments. Now, I can’t remember everything that happened; I’m unsure of who propositioned what or the specifics of our sexual interactions. I have fuzzy memories and recall most everything up until things got hot and heavy and bits and pieces of the experience or in some cases I only remember leaving parties/ bars with him.

I remember him usually checking in frequently to ensure I was comfortable, and if I ever said no, he respected that and wouldn’t push further. But beyond that, I don’t recall much else. I do remember lying there as he did things to me, but I felt more like a passive participant rather than an active one. For example, one instance I remember the first time he asked to take our clothes off; I was drunk enough I was able to get my pants off most of the way by myself but he had to help me get my shirt off but that's all I remember. Another instance I only kind of remember; when he fingered me for the first and only time, I recalled that it hurt, and I wanted to stop but didn’t know how to express that. I don't remember what position I was in or what all foreplay happened I just know it hurt. I do know that when I did tell him I didn't want anymore he immediately stopped.

I want to clarify that I enjoyed most of what I can remember of our time together. Rightfully, I often felt unsure and nervous as there is a first time fore everything. I’m left a little uneasy and wondering...did he take advantage of me? I really hope that’s not the case, but since he was completely sober I can't help but feel like he knew how drunk I was and knew how vulnerable it made me. I am not sure... Would love some advice on this!

Posted Aug 12, 2025, 5:33 PM UTC

12
Loading comments…