Words never meant to be said

Someone asked me a strange question not long ago: “If you were in a room with every soul you’ve ever met, who would you search for first?” Without thinking, I saw you.

It’s been years. You might not even remember me, or maybe you’ve chosen not to. Either way, this is for the silence that has been sitting between us ever since.

I met you when the tide in my life was at its lowest. The shore was far, the water heavy, and then there you were, a wave I didn’t see coming. I was already fighting storms; I couldn’t let another one inside. So I built walls, high and sharp, and pushed you out before you could get in.

I told you to never speak to me again. You said no at first, and then you vanished. I thought I was protecting myself, but in truth, I was breaking my own heart.

I never meant to fall for you. Honestly, you weren’t even my “type”too young, too sharp, too good at making my pulse betray me. But love isn’t a choice, and somehow you ended up in the one place I swore no one would reach.

I’ve carried this secret since the days when the world was masked and quiet. I thought that maybe if I told you, I could let you go. And now, there’s someone else in my life , someone who deserves a heart free of old ghosts. But you still wander through my mind, like a song I can’t forget.

I imagine you by the sea, hair longer now, maybe speaking to birds. I remember your voice telling me, “One day I’m gonna kiss you, and you’ll hate me for it.” Strange how I never hated you , only myself, for not letting you try.

I won’t tell you who I am. If you know, you’ll know. If you don’t, let these words dissolve like salt in water.

Tea,