I am an INFJ "Advocate" with an extroverted career and it's tough

I am neurodivergent (severe ADHD) and an INFJ "Advocate" personality type who works in communications and community engagement in a very public way while striving to make a positive difference in my community. I've always been one to look at ways that I can help make my community within reach a better place to be especially for the more marginalized. I am a social and environmental advocate. I am also an advocate for people like me who care about these things but aren't *polished* at speaking to them. Our voices still matter. I love to see neurodivergent (and awkward) types who have passions going for them even when it feels weird AF doing it. We don't belong under some bridge somewhere. We need representation, too, in these spaces.

I say all of this, but at the same time it's so fucking hard because I am obviously *different* at times and I make *a lot* of gaffes. People either accept me as I am and work with me, or they don't, and there are those who just think I'm strange and may prefer communicating with someone else. That's been a challenge for me to accept, but it may not even be my awkwardness; it may be because I am also a minority woman.

Anyway -

I am making a career move that will put me face to face with the public *even more* and while I may sound somewhat confident now, I am freaking out inside about being *seen* and *perceived* at that level (state). Damn my "Advocate" spirit (I think to myself) why am I driven to this kind of work? And I *am* truly driven to it. I'd be comfortable not doing it and just staying home but I'd be uncomfortable at the same and I want to follow my heart because who knows where it may lead in my career.

I'm not some natural Ted Talker by any stretch of the imagination. I have a lot of things that I want to say but I forget them. I am *much* better conversationally. I wish there was a way to do public speaking as a conversation. Is that a thing? Can someone tell me if that's a thing because that's the biggest piece I'm worried about is that I'm not great at solo speaking and presenting for long periods. I would rather have conversations with my community.

I'm rambling. If you read all of this, thank you so much. What do you think?

TL;DR : I am a neurodivergent introvert who wants to make a difference in my community. I'm making a career move that will put me in the public *a lot* more often, which freaks me out. I'll be doing more public speaking, which also freaks me out. But I am driven in my soul to do the kind of work that I am doing - it just has these caveats that clash with the introverted part of me which is still significant and also drives me... back home to my cats. The "Advocate" drives me out into the community. I want to get better at this stuff too so I know I need to go for it.

Another piece is that I'm better conversationally when public speaking than just presenting at length. Is there a way to do public speaking out in the community in a more conversational way? Are there conversational public speakers? I'd like to know.