[Qcrit] literary YA opening pages not working

Hi,

Last post got removed, but I've been querying my contemporary/ literary YA novel and I've so far gotten about 40 form rejections, 9 perosnal ones and a full request (pending). Thanks to everyone who reviewd my query letter- I'll work on that blurb right away. Most queries also want an opening chapter or two, so I'm pasting my first chapter below. 

I know the opening. is the weakest part of the book, but the non-linear structure sort of depends on writing it like this. After a few chapters in the present (concert) the timeline skips back to them when they were kids and walks us through all the whimsy/ gradual descent to show how they got to the point at the start of the book.

It's removing me again so here's the link to a public google doc-

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TbOVfGxb3ScBA_haEFLFTlwl-y_Gcr1RwIFMnh15fLo/edit?usp=sharing