Sex ed

While I love my parents, they are both very religious (Mormon) and as such I grew up in an incredibly strange environment where anything regarding sex was not spoken of. I had exactly one talk about it when I was eight and one when I was eleven about puberty. Many VERY NORMAL bodily functions I had like discharge, body hair, etc blindsided me and in some cases, made me feel like I had sinned. I almost didn’t receive the HPV vaccine because my mother thought I wouldn’t need it as I would marry a good Mormon boy who had never had any sexual experience. I was afraid to wash my privates because I was convinced I would somehow be sinning since my religion taught that masturbation and touching your genitals was wrong in any context and I didn’t know how to google that. I was petrified of looking up any question I had because my religion penalized any research outside their own documents and said the outside world would lead me astray with that. And because I was a homeschooler, my normal sex ed I would have received in public school was completely neglected. I feel angry and lost and completely sheltered all the time, and I think about how behind I am in life because of it. I want with all my heart to someday become a ER doctor, but I am so behind in math and science that I think it’s never going to happen. I don’t know if anyone else had similar experiences and feels like this as well but I feel better throwing it out in the void instead of bottling my resentment up.