Madness(letter 2)

I can't want you, I don't want to want you I shouldn't want you...I'm going insane with these thoughts of you and I'm still not even sure if you feel the same way anymore or if you ever did to begin with..I just want to tell you how I feel but I just can't, the mess it will cause, the drama, the risk..and let's say we do take that risk and it turns out we weren't meant to be...it be for nothing then...all that chaos for nothing...it seems like right now I like the idea of you in my head, and maybe liking you from a distance,in silence.. as painful as it is...is for the best? This has been going on for 2 years now, I hoped it would go away...the less I saw you, the more time that passed but my feelings are still strong and I don't understand why I feel the way I do about you...how could someone I don't really know have this much of a hold of me? What did you do to me?

song to go with this letter: Within You-David Bowie