Evidence for relief

I’m so scared of being wrong. All my friends are deeply religious but I don’t believe and that makes my stomach turn when I say that. I want something to grasp to that will make me fully open my eyes and get away from this unsettling feeling. I lie to everyone, I wear my cross necklace and go to religious outing with my friends. I always debate my one friend too because I want to find flaws. All she does to prove religion and read the Bible and give me her own interpretation. That’s not evidence thats just perspective. Does anyone have pure raw evidence to deny the existence that would make me feel at peace. I’m tired of the “I don’t understand everything and that’s ok attitude. It’s NOT ok. How are you going to dedicate your whole life and personality to something you dont understand? Could someone give me some peace of mind please? Thank you!