Need genuine advice

For a bit of context, I got my electrical educatiion in the navy from NFAS and went conventional. Due to some gender issues, I was seperated from the Navy. Luckily however, I got a good job working as a instrumentation tech/industrial electrician (it's both jobs combined).

Unfortunately, I came in blind as I was very inexperienced never having seen half the stuff (or at the very least never have worked on it) and was immediately expected to perform. The guys on the team saw that I was struggling a bit and did teach me some thankfully but over the past year I have struggled to digest the information and be able to use it in a practicle level. Not to mention that I make constant silly mistakes that just make me look dumb. (i.e. the other day somebody told me to go unwire a motor amd its warrick and for some reason went and unwired it at the bucket insted of the motor itself). I feel that I lack basic intuition and common sense and that its essential to the job but I unfortunately cannot seem to figure it out. I excelled at the company test they gave as I am really good with electrical bits on paper but not so good when it comes to real life scenarios.

I am constantly being made fun of and ridiculed by my team of which I can understand as they are typical blue collar tradesmen but one particular team member that is an Aryan Brother hates my guts because of who I am (constantly making jokes about my sexuality and gender, complaining about my worth, drawing genitals on me etc.) of which results in alot of stress of which I can't even think clearly most of the time and has and is causing me serious mental health problems (like self harm and Suicidiality)

What can I do to dig myself out of this hole I have dug for myself? Should I formally request training? Or are particular youtube series, or books that yall have read that helped you dramatically. I don't want to lose this job as it pays too well and I'm kinda desperate. Thanks yall