Trapped Between Toxic Parents, Disability, and a Broken System

I want to go no contact with my parents, but I can’t. I have a mental disability and I can’t hold onto a job. I learn too slow, I get fried, and then I get discarded. I’m sick of smart Asians with their fancy degrees and six-figure paychecks telling me to “just move out” or “just go NC.” That advice is useless when you’re disabled, broke, and stuck in survival mode.

I’m working two dead-end jobs because I can’t find anything better. Not because I’m lazy, but because companies don’t want to deal with someone like me. Still, I’d rather be exhausted and underpaid in California than move back to the Midwest and deal with homophobic, racist people who make life feel like a slow death.

After my birthday last weekend, I hate my life more because no matter how hard I tried for the last 30 years, I can’t escape them. No company wants to keep someone who’s not fast, not polished, not neurotypical. And housing in California is brutal. But at least here, I’m not constantly fearing for my safety just for existing.

So yeah, I’m still here. Still stuck. Still trying. But I’m tired of pretending I’m just one good decision away from freedom. I’m not. I want to know. Has anyone out there, especially other “dumb” Asians like me, actually made it out? I mean the ones who were drowning and still found a way to breathe.