Non-Orthodox here. I need your all's perspective.

Hello to everyone. A little about my background: I was raised in a congregational church, moved away from the faith in my early 20's, then began coming back several years later. After a long time of trying to figure out where I wanted to be, I decided The Episcopal Church was my spiritual home, and that's where I've been ever since. At the same time, I learned a great deal about Eastern Christianity and felt that much of it resonated with me. The concept of theosis, repentance of sin meaning to change the direction of our lives when we miss the mark instead of punishing ourselves when we break rules, the crucifixion showing us the way to be free from sin instead of satisfying God's demand for a blood atonement; these are all concepts that made sense to me (and still do).

To be clear, I have no intent to become Orthodox; I feel like The Episcopal Church is right where I need to be. However, when I read comments like the ones I have found in this thread, I have to wonder what Orthodoxy is really about. Some of the stories you all have shared here are distressing, and I want to say I'm sorry that many of you experienced the kind of trauma you did in the church. I get the sense that, for many or even most of you, the reason you left EO is because the church does not practice what it preaches. Just two examples come to mind based on what I've read here:

1. Nearly every EO church I've looked up says that you don't have to be a member of a particular ethnicity-Greek, Russian, Serbian, Romanian, etc.-to attend, and that everyone is welcome there. However, many of you apparently feel that EO has a serious ethnocentrism problem.

2. Nearly every EO church I've looked up also says that you don't have to worry about doing everything right in regard to worship, and they specifically say that there's no requirement to venerate icons if that's something you're not used to. From what you all have said, that doesn't seem to be the case. It sounds like there's a lot of focus on rituals, and that other Orthodox will give you a nasty look if you don't do things like venerate icons the right way or cross yourself at the right times.

There are other issues I've noticed myself, which the experiences that former Orthodox have written about seem to confirm. From the outside, it appears there is a lot of paranoia and superstition in the church, especially about Satan and demons, or about the West encroaching on the ONE TRUE CHURCH. I've also picked up on a strong sense of superiority among EO clergy, as if they're the only real Christians (except maybe Roman Catholics too), and that all others are just pretending. Homophobia, misogyny, and anti-Semitism are also problems that seem to be festering within the church.

That's fairly long-winded, but as someone who doesn't have a direct experience with Orthodoxy, I'd like to ask if you think I've accurately characterized the problems that pushed you away. Does it all come down to EO talking the talk, but not walking the walk? Does all of the teaching about living a Christ-centered life get moved to the back, and judgment of others to the front? Is the outward appearance of Orthodoxy a smokescreen (that's not meant to be an incense joke)? Has this always been the case, or is it due to more recent developments? I appreciate any insights you can provide. Peace be with you!