Wanting my life back again med free

Hi. I was diagnosed in Dec 2024. Been taking meds on a need basis (whenever I have racing thoughts) but my psych scared me by saying this is a chronic condition and I have to take meds long term to maintain baseline or else I’ll have a relapse and be sent back to the mental hospital. Husband also concurs with the doc. Help.

I took the med regularly for 1 month and felt like a zombie, emotionless, drugged up state, Creative side gone, having to process sentences that were once intuitive to understand. Upset with the doc and family who, whenever I’m happy or sad, say that I’m having an episode. Husband forced me to take the med again last night after a week. He was angry I stopped the medicine although i feel so refreshed and myself again without the med. I feel like I have no rights about my own body. Tell me what’s a normal brain, what’s normal behaviour? To them, there is a correct way to behave and if I don’t, they’ll force the meds. Anybody came off meds and are living fine? I’m looking for hope, do share your success stories!